Lager Lager
I love beer. I mean, I really love it. Alright, maybe just lager. Not ale. And I can’t drink much of it because I get intoxicated really, really easily. In other words, I’m a lightweight. And to be truthful, I can’t tell the difference between different brands of lager apart from Carling and Fosters. (Carling should be re-branded Carling A.K.A Bathwater and Fosters should be Fosters Funny Taste And Far Too Fizzy.) For me, lager is a summer drink. It conjures up images of warm sunny afternoons in beer gardens outside the local pub, surrounded by hanging baskets, chicken and chips and – well – drunk people I suppose. How on earth lager drinkers manage to down their pints I still have absolutely no idea to this day. It’s SO fizzy! After about three gulps my face screws up involuntarily and I have to put the glass down – it’s like torture! But you see the rugby guys down at the local chugging away gallon after gallon of the stuff. Their poor livers. The amber nectar is surely only meant to be drunk sensibly? Just think about what those bubbles must do to your insides! The bloating that we experience after one too many pints is palpable. Giving way in middle age to the ‘beer belly’, lager drinkers should probably be more aware of how many calories they’re consuming – pint-for-pint. There are almost two hundred and fifty calories in a pint of Fosters. That’s quite a lot. And if you drink TEN PINTS (and believe me some people do) that’s almost 2500 calories – a whole day’s worth of calories for a healthy adult! WOW. Needless to say, these statistics have lessened my love for the amber nectar and are making me seriously consider moving onto clear spirits and diet mixers!
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